i juz feel dat fcuk up.
[ 3:49 AM ]
What a fucking lousy day. Urgh. I hate my father! Alot. I just can't seem to figure out why he always picks me to hit. Why not my sisters. Why me! Am i such a bad person. Bloody fuck lah. I never see him lay a finger on my sisters. It's always me. I despise him. So bias. Fuuuck. He slapped me just a few minutes ago. And i can still feel the fucking pain on my face. The other day he punched my leg, on the bone. Now its bruised. I fucking try very hard to like and love my dad. But i just can't seem to. I tried, really. I still remembered how he used to hit me when i was still schooling. All the bruises. Fuck lah. I wish i can say that deep inside i still love my father. But the truth is i don't. I try very hard not to run away from home. I always think about my mum. I love her. But my dad really pushes me on the edge. Sometimes i feel like killing him when he's asleep. Doesn't he realise that he had put me through hell all these years. I always keep this fucking issue to myself. But i just can't control the pent up anger right now. I hate it. I can't even see what the fuck i'm typing because of the fucking tears in my eyes. Fuck. I am so sick of being treated like a maid in the house. He always says that i'm selfish. I always think about myself. If i was selfish, than i wouldn't do all the work in the house. I'm starting to think the only purpose for me in this house is similar to a maid's. Everyone just sits around while i clean the fucking house by myself. I do not fucking care if i live in a big house. What's the point of it all when i'm never happy?? My mum will always nag at me telling me how hard she and my dad have to work to pay the house. Well who asked you to buy a stupid big house. I certainly did not. I was comfortable and happy at my old house. Urgh. Sheer stupidity. I'm selfish huh? Fine. I will run away from this empty cold house. Now you can call me selfish all you want. I want to see how you fuckers at home cope without me around. I bet they won't even last a week. My dad always says that if he and my mum were to get a divorce, it would all be my fault. What a nice thing to say to your child huh? Makes me feel loved. Asshole. Such a jerk. Everything is my fault. That's why i am the one he hits. Whatever.Give me a gun, i wanna shoot my dad. Scumfuck. Lard ass idiot. Urgh. I am going to die in this house, die suffocating. If only he realized how much i fucking hate him as a father maybe he will then realise how wrong his parenting ways are. Bias bastard. Sometimes i just wish he would ask me to leave this hell hole and never come back. I don't give a fuck ok. I don't care for this place. Do you think i care that you want to send me to a girls home or something fucked up like that? Hellooo i don't give a shit, fuck face. If you think that you want to ruin ur own daughter's future, the go ahead. I don't need you too. Urgh. So furious ni! Hmph. Ok ok, relax. breathe, breathe. Mybe im going to run away from home again, for my own good. I must get away from these freak creatures that live with me. They are going to suck the life out of me i tell ya. To those people who is thinking about judging me, don't. You bitches don't know shit about shit. You do not know what happens in my everyday life. So buzz off. Get away from me. Be gone. Shooo. Don't talk to me like you know me or my dad or my family.Vitamin C - Graduation (Friends Forever)
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real cool
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Will Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels
La, la, la, la? Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la? We will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
Dis is the song i'll lyke to dedicate to all my fwen. especially dose hu i usually hang out wit. it has been great wit u guys. my heart ache when come to saying good-bye. hope our friendship last!!~
Labels: he juz simply suxs ehk. wat the fcuk.
